I know, I know, you are just dying to hear all about the neverending painting saga and see loads of crappy iphone progress shots. You are in luck, my friend, because that is about all my paint fume-riddled brain can handle today, or possibly even this week.

Hold onto your butts:

Whoever painted the living room trim lavender did so right over numerous strips of regular clear tape. There have been a lot of dubious decisions in this apartment’s history.

At some point during hours of spackling, sanding, and taping two weeks ago, I had the insane moronic GENIUS idea that it would make sense to paint the bedroom at the same time as the living room. The thought process took about two seconds and went something like this:

GENIUS IDEA BRAIN: You know what would be really great? Painting the bedroom at the same time as the living room!

ME: Yes! Two rooms in one go! We’ll get it done in a weekend!

GENIUS IDEA BRAIN: I’m so smart!

A. should have tranquilized me and hidden the paint rollers when I told him. Because there’s something you may not know about me: I have never painted a room before. 

Wally inspects his relocated box.

But as a cocky DIYer who has tackled all sorts of projects big and small I was totally like, “Psshht, I got this.” I had NO. FRIGGIN. CLUE. how labor intensive painting a room is.

For any other painting virgins out there, don’t be fooled by the “easy painting tips and tricks” posts plastered all over Pinterest. It is labor intensive and time consuming and just damned hard.

There is paint everywhere. In my cuticles. On my razor after shaving my legs this morning. On Jax’s whiskers.

Just one of the many holes in the plaster.

My right hand is now permanently fused to the grip of my 2.5″ angled sash brush. My left hand tried really hard to remember its ambidextrous beginnings and pick up some of the slack, but failed dramatically and just ended up swollen from muscle strain. My feet hurt from standing all day, my knees are bruised from kneeling.

And the hilarity is, we’re only just done priming.

See that blob of salmon pink? That used the be the wall color in the bedroom.

And the trim used to be bubblegum pink. Painting trim anything other than white should be a crime.

Why is it taking sooooo long? Well, we’re painting two rooms ceiling to baseboard. There’s miles of trim and it’s horridly pitted and bumpy from years of terrible paint jobs. The plaster is crumbled in spots and requires a delicate (read: ineffective) touch. We’re going over grey and lavender, which both need extra coats of primer.

And apparently, I suck at painting rooms.

After this mess is done, I’m sticking to furniture and crafts and yummy treats and never painting a room again.

It’ll be worth it though, right?

RIGHT?

I’m signing off now, I literally need to go ice my achey hands.

I’d love to hear your stories of painting encouragement or fellow commiseration! Who here has painted a room before, and how did it go?